Who Are You – Tobey Kai


Using music as rehabilitation, a talented Calgary musician overcomes a Traumatic Brain Injury, and is an inspiration for others.

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Before last year my social media experience was limited to Facebook, but that changed last year when I decided that the time had come for me to do something different with my life. Having a larger presence on social media would go a long way towards accomplishing the things that I wanted to do, so I now have accounts across several platforms.

An Instagram account was a no brainer, and I soon found out that there was more to this app than just the Kardashians and other assorted “influencers” (I can’t believe they get paid for this shit, honestly). As I scrolled through the accounts that Instagram thought I’d be interested in, one stood out.

I was first drawn in by her photo. She is possessed of those qualities that are highly desired by those shallower aspects that are inherent to men. In short I thought she was hot. I started to follow her and checked out her profile. She was a local girl with an incredible musical talent, university educated, and she had also suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. I needed to find out more about this intriguing person, named Tobey Kai.

Natural talent

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From Tobey Kai’s Facebook page.

Tobey’s musical talents come naturally, both of her parents are musicians who came to Canada in the mid-’80’s. From a young age, she showed an interest in music, taking her first piano lesson at only 6years old. She says that her singing abilities came from her mother, who also sings opera.

The family would come to Calgary by way of Vancouver, and Tobey continued to study music, enhancing her natural born talent. She has a younger brother, and an “adopted sister” who has been in her life since her teen years.

You might think that Tobey would pursue a music education at the Alberta College of Art, but her interests also extend beyond music. Instead, she has not one but TWO bachelor’s degrees, and they have absolutely NOTHING to do with each other, holding degrees in biology and economics.

Animal lover

Courtesy Facebook


Equal to her passion for music is her passion for animals. She combines the two at her music studio where she gives private music and singing lessons. She has resident cats and dogs that will like to come and visit while she’s giving lessons, and she mentions this on her website giving anyone who might have allergies a heads up.

Conservation of the world’s oceans is another one of her causes and she is an advocate for the world’s sharks, whose populations have nearly been wiped out in Asia due to poaching. Shark fin soup has long been a delicacy in some Asian countries, but ever decreasing numbers have led to the dish been banned.

All life is precious. Meet Freyja, one of my many daughters I’ve had the honour of caring for over the years. A ferocious predator (not unlike a shark), but has never struck me because I haven’t given her reason to. 
Don’t be afraid of what you don’t understand. 

To her, all life is precious, and she would soon come to know just exactly how very precious it is. On the home page of her website, you can listen to a song she wrote called “Ondine”, which she has dedicated to ocean and shark conservation.

A cagey polyglot

As if all of this weren’t impressive enough, she also speaks fluent German. I figure that she would be able to carry out lengthy conversations in at least three languages: English, Mandarin, and German. I ask her how many languages she can speak, and she’s coy about answering saying only that she “does dabble in a few languages”. Based on what I’ve learned about her so far, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that she could single-handedly interpret a meeting of the UN Security Council.


Touched by Alzheimers

In 2017 Tobey began writing a song about her grandfather, whom she lost to Alzheimer’s disease. Called “Who Are You”, it recounts her grandfather’s final words to her “Who are you, young lady? Are you lost?” It is a poignant song about an experience that many families go through, and can relate to. It would be several months before she would record the song however. At the beginning of 2018, something would happen that had a lasting and profound effect on her life.

Who Are You – Written for Alzheimer’s and brain injury awareness.

Everything changes in an instant

For Tobey, recreation is something done outdoors no matter what season it is and whether it’s on a bike or a snowboard, physical activity is just as much a part of her life as music. She’s as much at home on the back of a bicycle as she is on a snowboard, and it was while enjoying a day on the latter that things would change forever.

Sunday, January 14th was a pleasant day to be in the mountains, with temperatures only a couple degrees below zero. Deciding to take advantage of the beautiful weather, Tobey decided to go snowboarding at Nakiska that day. At the end of her first run, when she got to the bottom of the hill, she slipped and fell to the ground.

Moments later a skier collided with her, impacting her left temple. Almost immediately, she knew that something was very wrong. She had lost feeling below her neck, her fingers were twitching, and she knew that she was bleeding from somewhere underneath her helmet. Emergency crews were able to stabilize her and transport her to Calgary by ground ambulance. She remembers much of the hour long ride back to the city, but some memories are gone.

Subarachnoid hemorrhage

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Image result for subarachnoid space

Your brain is covered by a thick, fibrous membrane called dura mater. Beneath the dura mater is the archnoid mater, under which cerebralspinal fluid helps to cushion the brain. A tear in a blood vessel can cause blood to accumulate in this space, putting pressure on the brain. Surgery may have to be performed to drain the blood and stop the hemorraging.

The odds of making a full recovery are against someone with a subarachnoid hemorrage as only one third of patients will have a good out come, another third will survive but with a disability, and the remaining third will die.

Nothing short of miraculous

For a very brief time Tobey was comatose, but she wouldn’t be unconscious for long. For the first few weeks, she was unable to walk and had to re-learn how. Her neck was also injured, and she would find talking painful. She began to wonder if she would ever sing again. But she persevered, and began to use music as rehabilitation.

To say that her recovery was miraculous would be an understatement. She learned to walk again and has been able to not only speak but return to singing the way she did before the accident. Only six months after the incident at Nakiska, Tobey appeared in the local media and performed “Who Are You” live. She looked as though nothing had happened at all.

She did not make a complete recovery however. She lost her short-term memory, something that she says is the one thing she regrets losing the most. She has also lost her sense of taste, and as is to be expected after a TBI, she has had some personality changes.

I ask her if her physical fitness had anything to do with how quick she was able to recover. She attributes it more to mental fitness, sheer determination, and stubbornness. I’d say she has the mental fitness to win an Ironman marathon while the competition eating her dust.

Most of all though, she credits music for pulling her through and giving her the motivation. She was composing again before she was allowed off bed rest. She also credits her life experiences for being able to maintain a sense of calmness through it all.

A song dedicated to our troops, our veterans, and their families.

On Remembrance Day 2018 Tobey released a new single titled “Time”. It is her emotional tribute to our active duty personnel, our veterans, and their families. Together, “Time” and “Who Are You” would make the perfect anthem for those verterans with the Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) caused by mefloquine toxicity.

People like Tobey are very rare to find. With natural talent and beauty, a social conscience, an amazingly resilient brain, and the ability to inspire others, we are lucky to have someone like her.

In the future, when history recounts those individuals who have had a major impact on Calgary, and were among this country’s brightest shining stars, the historians will count Tobey Kai among them.



Meeting The Mefloquine Cowboy


As Shaun Arntsen fights the biggest battle of his life, he’s reaching others who are doing the same, and saving their lives.

I first heard from Shaun Arntsen about four days ago. He sent me a message on Twitter, where he is known as The Mefloquine Cowboy. He tells me he’d like to collaborate with me on something, a video and written media project about mefloquine. As I’m go through his posts on Twitter, one grabs my eye, it’s a You Tube video whose title warns me that I am about to see something emotionally charged. I watch the video, and it is what the title promises, and then some. Intrigued, I tell him that I’m very interested, and would like to talk. The next day, I hear back from him, and arrange a time to talk on the phone. It was at this point that I found out his real identity.

We exchange messages the following morning before finally connecting over the phone. In one of his messages, he lets me know that he needs to rest. I come to find out that Shaun in plagued by sudden debilitating headaches, and one has just taken hold. It is but one of a number of symptoms that he has experienced over the last 17 years. The symptoms began when he was deployed to Afghanistan in 2002.

When we do connect a short time later, he begins to tell me about the symptoms he is experiencing, symptoms that the Department of National Defense attributes to PTSD. He exhibits many of the symptoms that appear with PTSD, anxiety, depression, nightmares, but, he also has symptoms that are not seen in PTSD either.

He often experiences a tingling, pinprick sensation in his hands, has problems with his digestive system, and experiences episodes that he calls seizures, which, from his description of them, sound like petit mal seizures. He tells me that the things that trigger his anxiety are also unusual, in that they aren’t the normal triggers that one might see in PTSD. He tells me of how walking into a supermarket can be one of the biggest triggers of anxiety for him. The lighting in particular bothers him.

He then says something that catches my attention, when he talks about not getting anxiety from loud noises, and says something about being bombed in Afghanistan. Wait, did he just say he got bombed in Afghanistan? That didn’t make sense, our guys never got bombed in Afgha… is about as far as I thought before the words “Tarnak Farms” had popped into my head. A few moments later, he would confirm this, and I would suddenly realize who I had been talking with.

The Incident at Tarnak Farms

Canada’s first troops in Afghanistan were members of the elite Joint Task Force 2 special operations unit, followed soon after by the 3rd Battalion, Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI) in January of 2002, led by Lt.Col. Pat Stogran, as part of Operation Apollo.

The battalion took part in Operation Harpoon in March before commencing training for future operations. The live fire training would take place at a location known as Tarnak Farms, which had previously been an al Qaeda and Taliban training area, and was known to pilots to be in friendly territory.

On the night of April 17th, a section from “A” Company was conducting nighttime training, when an American F-16 flying overhead saw the tracer fire down below. In a stunning display of incompetence, the National Guard pilot dropped a 500 lb bomb on them. Four men were killed, another 8 were wounded.

Although close by, because of where he was at the time of the explosion, Cpl. Arntsen escaped physical injury that night. The same could not be said for his psyche however and there isn’t a single normal human who wouldn’t be effected similarly. It should go without saying that an incident like this will result in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and he would begin to display the classic symptoms of it while still in theatre. The only thing was, what was happening to Shaun Arntsen was far more than just PTSD.

Battle For His Life

I wanted to get a sense for who the man was before I talked to him, so I did my online homework on Shaun Arntsen. I’m struck by the things that I find in his various social media accounts, and they start to give me an idea about who he his. First, in order to get a true sense of who he is, you have to look at all of them together. To simply view him through the lens of a single social media account will only leave you with a partial understanding of him.

Looking pictures of him, my first impression is that Shaun is someone who epitomize the word rugged. With his long hair, beard, and tattoos, he would look natural on the back of a motorcycle, and like many former soldiers he is active in the Canadian Veterans Motorcycle Unit. This group of motorcycle enthusiasts works to raise awareness of veterans issues on his community and across the province.

He describes himself as a “jack of all trades” and is just as comfortable operating heavy equipment as he is a camera. Using the knowledge and skills he picked up in the military, he offers tactical firearms instruction through his company Tactical Yoga, and is also an assistant coach with the Nakiska Alpine Ski Association, teaching and mentoring youth.

He’s a talented photographer, and appears to be just as comfortable in front of the camera as he is behind it. The pictures that he has taken, and those that he appears in himself, could very easily be in any number of glossy magazines, used to promote a men’s fragrance or to showcase a new clothing line.

Yet, there is another aspect to Shaun that you can’t see as much in those pictures. It’s the veteran, haunted almost continuously by demons that first appeared in Afghanistan. Like many veterans of that conflict, he’s had his struggles with drug and alcohol abuse and he’s been in trouble with the law. There are times when he’s filled with an uncontrollable rage, and he has had outbursts in public that have left some feeling uneasy, even unsafe.

During these episodes, although they may appear frightening from the outside, his rage is not directed towards any individual, and he has not attacked or otherwise menaced anyone during these episodes.

Over time, the retired corporal came to the realization that what was going on with him was more than the PTSD that the military said that he had. Many of his symptoms weren’t consistent with the diagnosis, and since they began 17 years ago, he has shown no improvement whatsoever over that time. As more and more stories about mefloquine began to emerge, it soon became clear that this was responsible for the nightmare playing itself out in Shaun’s brain and body.

He was perilously close to making the decision that many Afghanistan veterans have made, ready to end his own life in order to find himself free from the hell that he was living each and every day for years. But Shaun also is possessed of an incredible strength of spirit, and he decided to document his struggle on YouTube. His videos tell the story of a day in the life of a man who was poisoned by a neuro toxic substance that his government ordered him to take.

They are raw, edgy, and emotional, but also inspirational. Shaun Arntsen has a way of reaching his viewers the way very few people can. There’s no pretense to the man, what you see is what you get, and what you get is a dose of the reality that he and thousands of others experience daily. He can connect with people, and is a no bullshit kind of a guy, which is why he is quickly establishing himself as someone to be reckoned with, and someone that can be turned to for advice, or a little bit of support, or a message of hope at a time when it is so desperately needed.

With lawsuits pending, and a campaign of public awareness building, mefloquine will soon be getting the attention of the Canadian public at large, but there is still a lot of work to do. Every day, veterans are hearing about mefloquine and the damage it causes for the first time. For many, it almost comes as a relief, since it would provide the answers to a lot of questions that they may have been asking themselves.

Helping to lead the charge here in Canada is Shaun Arntsen, the Mefloquine Cowboy, who is saving lives as a result of his efforts. He is a man on a mission, and I’m hoping to be able to help him along in his quest to help his brothers in arms. He proved himself on the field of battle in Afghanistan, and his efforts now are nothing short of heroic.


Dedicated to the memory of the first four. Godspeed soldiers.

Sgt Marc Leger, Pte Richard Green, Pte Nathan Smith, Cpl Ainsworth Dyer

We Got Your Six With Marj Matchee: Bruce Given

Bruce is Ops Manager Of The Veteran’s Association Food Bank in Edmonton and gives us an update of how things are going.

If you are a veteran who is struggling, please know that you’re not alone. Reach out to Bruce Given or John Kennedy at the VAFB to donate or learn more or to volunteer you can stop in at 17218 107 Ave Edmonton., or call to 833-422-8387

Note: the event mentioned in the video took place on January 9th

The Veteran’s Association Food Bank operates on a model that can work wherever there are people who are willing and able to make a serious commitment to helping their fellow veterans. Contact Bruce or Marie Blackburn at the VAFB in Calgary (info.vafb@gmail.com) for more information.

Another Friend Is Gone Far Too Soon

A GoFundMe Campaign Has Been Set Up To Help His Family.

This last week was, by any measure, one of the most trying weeks in our recent memory and it would begin for myself and a number of other people on Monday. Rob Murphy was a friend who came into my life about 30 years ago, and on Monday morning he would leave it after suffering a fatal heart attack. He was 52 and leaves behind a loving family that will miss him immensely.

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In all the years that I knew Rob I can’t think of very many occasions when he wasn’t working, and if he wasn’t it didn’t last long. Over the years he worked in the oilfields of Alberta and then drove truck for a number of years up until he left us. He was one of the many thousands of Albertans whose efforts helped drive this nation’s economy.

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With Rob’s sudden and untimely passing his family has been placed under an unexpected financial strain, so a GoFundMe campaign was launched by Nichole Ferguson on behalf of Rob’s widow, Krista. They are hoping to raise $10,000 to help cover the expenses that they are facing. Now I know that this is a bad time in the province to try raise donations of any kind, for any effort, but I am hoping that some people might be able to spare a little something to help them out.

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On behalf of Rob’s family and many friends, I would like to say thank you for your time and for keeping them in your hearts at this most difficult of times.

Fundraiser For Krista Murphy Following The Sudden, Unexpected Passing Of Her Husband Rob


Are You A Current Or Former Veterans Affairs Canada Case Manager Or Veteran’s Service Agent?

I would like to hear from you.

I am currently working on a story about Veteran’s Affairs Canada and am looking for the input of frontline personnel, particularly current or former Case Managers and Veteran’s Service Agents. To be clear I will not, under any circumstances, reveal your identity or any information you disclose to anyone without receiving your expressed permission to do so.

I can be contacted by secure, encrypted email at derekrbodner@protonmail.com, and also use Signal and WhatsApp for phone communications.

My Thoughts Are With The Desmond Family Today

Four years ago today they tragically lost four of their own, and mefloquine is the likely reason.

It is now four years since the Desmond family of Antigonish, Nova Scotia experienced the tragic and horrific loss of four beloved family members. Four years since the Desmonds lost their mother, Brenda, their sister-in-law, Shanna, their niece, Aaliyah, and their brother, Lionel.

I will not dwell on the details of what happened to them on that horrible day, rather I will address what I believe to be the reason for this incomprehensible tragedy, namely the antimalarial drug mefloquine, which he was seen taking during his tour in Afghanistan in 2007. I was contacted early last year by somebody who was with Lionel in Afghanistan, and he told me the he witnessed Lionel taking the neurotoxic drug that also goes by the brand name Lariam.

Former soldier with PTSD who killed himself and his family were victims of ‘systemic failures’: witness


Lionel was misdiagnosed. Although he may have been suffering from PTSD at the time he died, the result of his service in Asia, it is also entirely certain that he had been adversely affected by the mefloquine he had been given, and the symptoms that he had been showing are consistent with that. He and his family were not only failed by the government after he got home from Afghanistan, but they were also lied to about what was really wrong with him. Had Lionel Desmond been given the correct information and access to the proper resources that he needed, he and his family might still be alive today.

Lionel Desmond inquiry aims for mid-February resumption, barring technical delays


The Desmond Inquiry is scheduled to reconvene again in February, and whether evidence about mefloquine will be allowed to be introduced remains to be seen. In any event, such evidence wouldn’t have much of an effect on the outcome of the Inquiry given its scope. There will need to be another much larger investigation undertaken to look into this matter completely, something along the lines of a Royal Commission of Inquiry, though this is unlikely to occur barring growing public pressure.

The Desmond family, and all Canadians, deserve and have the right to know the truth. Lionel Desmond’s brain was damaged by a drug the Government of Canada knew to be neurotoxic, yet still ordered him to take under penalty of military justice. They lied to and misled him and thousands of other Canadian Forces personnel, resulting in the deaths of four people four years ago. Lives cut tragically and unimaginably short.

I therefore call on the government to form a Royal Commission of Inquiry to address this and the other issues affecting Canadian veterans and their families on a daily basis, and I am asking other Canadians to do the same.

May almighty God hold Brenda, Lionel, Shanna, and Aaliyah in his bosom, and may they all rest in peace.

Canada’s Unreported Crisis

Years of neglect and mismanagement have led to a crisis in veteran’s services, impacting the mental health of veterans and the front line government employees dealing with them.


There is a crisis in this country that isn’t being covered by any of the media, and sadly it’s probably because this crisis is happening by and large within the veteran community. There is a major problem with the way the government delivers services to our vets right now and it is having a significant impact on the well-being and mental health of thousands of them across the country. It has also negatively impacted the mental health of some of the front-line government employees who deal with veterans on a daily basis.

I’m going to dig deep in order to find out how and why things have reached the point that they have. I will be interviewing veterans as well as current and former VAC employees, and mental health advocates. I will be gathering information from VAC through their published reports and by using ATIP requests, and I am also contacting many of the largest police agencies across Canada for information and input.

Any articles I publish about this will use the hashtag #canadaveteranservicecrisis. I would ask that you please use this hashtag on Twitter and other social media to get it trending.

Contact me.

If you are one of the following, I would like to hear from you:

  • any veteran who has had a wellness check done by police no matter the outcome
  • any current or former VAC employees particularly Case Managers and Veteran Service Agents

Information shared with me will be treated as confidential and not shared with anyone without prior approval.

My secure and encrypted email address is derekrbodner@protonmail.com.

Seeking Former Veterans Affairs Case Managers

I would like to talk to you confidentially.

I would like to hear from you about the job you did, why you left VAC, or anything else that you would like to discuss for a story I am currently working on. I will not be publishing anything specific that may reveal your identity and everything you say will be held in the strictest of confidence.

I am not soliciting any current VAC employees however if one should happen to send an email my way I wouldn’t delete it, but please do not send it via a VAC computer using your credentials. For an added layer of security I recommend getting a Protonmail account and using that to send confidential or sensitive emails.

I also use WhatsApp and Signal for phone communications should you want to communicate that way.

You can send an email to my encrypted Protonmail account derekrbodner@protonmail.com


Elderly veterans in Montreal hospital at serious risk due to incompetence and a complete disregard for patient safety during pandemic.

There are roughly 30,000 surviving World War 2 veterans in Canada right now with an average age of 94 years old, and with each passing year we lose them in ever greater numbers. It’s safe to say that the vast majority of them live in some kind of long-term care facility or hospital. At one time there were a number of veterans hospitals across the country, most built between the World Wars, but now there is only one left. Ste. Anne’s Hospital in Montreal is home to about 120 veterans including the esteemed World War 2 vet Wolf Wm Solkin, who is one of the last of the Dutch liberators.

Ste. Anne’s is now in the midst of a COVID outbreak that has affected a vast majority of the veterans who live there. They have been put in grave danger and sadly it comes as no surprise. Back in March Wolf was speaking out about this, warning that something like this would happen. Sadly, nobody that mattered listened.

The elder statesman of veterans advocacy has nothing but praise for the frontline workers at Ste. Anne’s for their dedication and devotion. From the medical staff to the those that help to keep the hospital running, Solkin has no issue with any of these people who work tirelessly in often trying conditions and circumstances. These are the people who have been the heroes not only in Ste. Anne’s but in fhospitals and medical facilities across Canada.


Solkin’s issue is with the incompetent government bureaucracies at work in Ottawa and Quebec City. Things had been relatively good when control of the hospital was in the care of Veterans Affairs Canada and the federal government. In 2012 an agreement was made between the federal government and the province of Quebec to transfer responsibility of the facility over to provincial authority.

Since then the level of care these patients recieve has deteriorated despite the best efforts of the staff. When the Quebec government became their new employer it imposed a new collective agreement on the unionized staff which effectively cut their salaries in half. Prior to the transfer 1,000 people worked at Ste. Anne’s. On the day of the transfer 40% of them left and another 20% would leave in the year that followed. Hospital administrators, anticipating that only 25% would leave, were left unprepared and have since been trying to fill the large number of vacancies.

Solkin went on to file a class action lawsuit against the federal and Quebec governments as well as the agency responsible for operating Ste. Anne’s, and in February of this year a Quebec Superior Court judge authorized it.

LTC and. TLC

I customarily expend what little energy I can still muster, to protest or attack transgressions against my fellow-Veterans at Ste. Anne’s Hospital, committed by the uncommitted, unthinking and unfeeling bureaucrats, who abjectly administer our facility from afar. At this time in our pandemic pandemonium, however, I feel it is incumbent upon me to laud to the skies the cadre of dedicated and devoted front-line health workers…..doctors, nurses, orderlies,technicians , cooks and cleaners alike….who, almost without exception, arrive at work daily, do their jobs diligently, and give of themselves unstintingly to their charges, under the most challenging of circumstances, and despite the most disconnected of their “superiors”.

Theirs is an excellent example of the confluence of Long Term Care [LTC] and Tender Loving Care [TLC]! and, through the persistent pain and festering fog of my every fibre, I offer up to them my most heartfelt gratitude, with every breath I take. You paragons of patience and compassion , as overworked,and underpaid as you may be, are as much real heroes as some of my comrades here, and you truly validate my contention that…….OLD VETS MATTER !

Wolf Wm Solkin

It is absolutely outrageous that this has been allowed to happen. At least 19 veterans have been sickened by COVID19, all of them at high risk of death due to their ages. There are some out there that don’t particularly care if those over the age of 65 succumb to the virus, they were old anyway. This seems to be the attitude of those left in charge of the care of the patients of Ste. Anne’s hospital.

Aside from basic human dignity these men are owed a modicum of gratitude and respect for their often heroic service to this country. Take the time to let them know you care. Contact the federal and Quebec governments and tell them to take action now. If there should be any fatalities at Ste. Anne’s they will be on the heads of the incompetent bureaucracies charged with their care, and the politicians that made it happen.

Call the Deputy Minister for Veterans Affairs Canada, Gen.(ret.) Walter Natynczyk at 902-566-8666, and tell him that this is unacceptable.

Humanizing The Mentally Ill And Those Who Deal With Them

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we are all human beings.

depression - depression stock videos & royalty-free footage

Last month I started working on a new project investigating veterans mental health issues and how they are currently being addressed and handled. I began gathering information for the story, including hearing from veterans who had experienced negative encounters with law enforcement resulting from a wellness or welfare check. While I had prepared myself for the emotional roller coaster that things like this can be I hadn’t anticipated it having such a profound effect on me so early on in the process. I foolishly didn’t consider the possibility that this might be a trigger for me.

Over the course of the years that my brother was alive I had to make the difficult choice on a few occasions to call 911 because I feared for my brother’s health and safety. One of these incidents happened a little over a decade ago, when he came knocking on my door one night shortly after I had gone to bed. I had to get up for work in the morning. I knew that something was wrong as soon as I opened the door. It was an unannounced visit and he appeared to be somewhat distressed. As he walked inside he told me that he had yet another fight with his girlfriend and that she had kicked him out, leading to him swallowing a large quantity of Gravol tablets. The instant he told me that my imediate instinct was to call 911 to have EMS take hom to the hospital, but I also knew that members of the Calgary Police Service would also be attending the call.

Naturally he was pissed off at me for having done that, but at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. I still do. It was a constable from the Calgary Police Service that first arrived at the door. A few minutes later he was joined by another couple of CPS members followed very shortly thereafter by EMS, who would take him out to the waiting ambulance to pump his stomach before leaving for the hospital. Ryan was always cooperative with the police whenever he ecountered them, prefering to remain calm and somewhat agreeable rather than get agitated and mouthy (or violent). One of the constables had engaged in a conversation with my brother, I’m not sure what it was about but when it came to my brother it was probably something about himself.

When I was asked if I would be going to the hospital with my brother I of course said yes. I had put him into the situation that he had found himself in so the least I could do was keep him company. I wasn’t able to ride in the ambulance with Ryan and would be getting a ride with the first constable that showed up that night. I shifted myself over to the middle of the back seat of the cruiser so that I could clearly see the back of the ambulance which was parked directly in front it. The doors were open and I could see that my brother talking to someone casually, probably one of the EMT’s. The black smudges of activated charcoal on his face told me that they had already pumped his stomach though he appeared to be having a pleasant enough conversation despite this. After less than a minute the doors closed and I settled back to wait for the ride to the hospital thankful for having these cops show up. They talked with my brother and were treating him with dignity and compassion. From where I was sitting I could also clearly see the computer that they used to communicate with dispatch and other units, the screen facing me enough to read the entire thing clearly. As we waited to leave for the hospital a message appeared on the screen that I couldn’t believe I was reading at first. It would leave me feeling disillusioned, stunned, gutted, and perhaps even a little bit heartbroken.

Overworked and ignored, front-line Calgary police describe an organization  in crisis | CBC News

You owe me a coffee at break for dealing with this idiot.

I sat there trying to understand what it was that I was seeing. Was this message intended for the constable in this car? Who is this idiot? I simply couldn’t comprehend that the people who only moments before had performed so well, who were the “heroes”, had turned out to be nothing but assholes, at least one of them was anyway. I got my answer when the constable noticed that I was able to read the screen and quickly turned it away, though I did manage to see that he told the sender of the message to hold off on communicating via that method. That told me then everything I needed to know. It was all a facade, they really thought that my brother was some kind of a joke, an idiot. It was a quiet ride to the hospital and I suspect the driver was quite aware that I had seen what had been written on his screen.

It took everything I had to keep the tears at bay, the bitter tears of heartbreak mixed with the hot tears of anger and rage. I wasn’t sure whether or not I would say something to the constable when we arrived at the hospital, or perhaps dig into my pockets to throw whatever loose change I had at him. “Here, buy your partner a fucking cup of coffee for having to put up with such an idiot. Sorry you had to put up with my brother the mental midget, asshole. Next time I’ll be sure to save myself the humiliation and just let him fucking die, how about that?”

I never told a soul about this until recently. I wasn’t about to tell my brother or my mother about what was said, it would serve no purpose other than to hurt them, and it was simply too humiliating for me to tell anyone else. I then buried it deep inside the vault hoping that someday I might forget about it, which I had managed to do for quite a while. When I began working on my newest project the memory came flooding back, and whenever I thought about it I would start to cry, unable to hold the emotions at bay no matter how much I tried.

I would need to get past this in order to move on with things so I began to reach out, and started to talk about it with my inner circle. I knew that I would be writing about this as part of the process, so I sat and had a rather difficult talk with my mom. I could tell by the look in her eyes and the fact she lit a cigarette as I was talking that she had been hurt and disappointed, and it was hard for me to see that even though I knew damn well that they would be there. We talked about it for some time. At the time he passed away my brother was before the courts, and it was a matter of stress for all of us. My mom told me that there was one cop who really supported Ryan, spending hours talking with him and even appearing in court on my brother’s behalf on his day off. This is someone who went the extra mile for my brother and if I knew who he was I would definitely buy him a coffee for showing genuine compassion and humanity for my brother in his time of greatest need.

We both also realize that police have a very difficult job sometimes and that some people may deal with things in a flippant or seemingly uncaring manner. For the most part this is not being done intentionally, it’s simply a way of coping with the things that they see on a daily basis. Sometimes in order to make sure that they do not get hurt emotionally, people will use humor or some other means of coping with certain situations. Sometimes they don’t even realize that they are doing it. To be fair the constable who made the remark had no idea that I was able to read it, and was letting off some steam with his colleagues. Looking back through the years I know that I have been guilty of this myself, making light of something and completely losing sight of the fact that it was happening to another human being who deserved the same dignity as I.

There are a few lessons to be learned from this experience. First, for law enforcement or anyone who deals with the mentally ill regularly, it is so important to remember that the mentally ill are humans too, just as worthy of your respect and compassion as anyone else. There is also a lesson in this for the citizens of society, to remember that first responders aren’t superhuman. We expect them to be there for us when times are at their very worst, to rescue us and be our heroes and lifesavers in moments of crisis. This takes an enormous toll on them both physically and psychologically, and we should be ever grateful to them for doing the things that they do for us. We also need to recognize that they are human beings as well, and remember to cut them a bit of slack every now and then.

Things are obviously far from perfect but they are quite capable of improving. Police need the resources to be able to deal with an ever increasing number of calls involving the mentally ill and they certainly do not need to be defunded. They need every bit of funding that they can get, along with advocacy groups for the mentally ill.

One day I’m going to buy a cop a cup of coffee to thank him or her for what they do. But I will also tell them about my brother and to remind them that every person, mentally ill or not, has a story and deserves to be treated woth dignity and respect. I would encourage everyone to do this. In a world gone mad, it can go a long way towards making things just a little bit better in our little corner of it.

Defense Fund For Australian Whistleblower Hits $110,000 Thanks To Global Donations

Meanwhile Chief of Defense Forces Angus Campbell Is Praying That He Won’t Be Held To The Yamashita Standard.

The bad news is that the charges against Ausralian whistleblower David McBride have still not been dropped. The good news is that he has now surpassed $110,000 in donations to his legal defense fund, leaving him with less than $40,000 to go before reaching the $150,000 goal. I would ask anyone around the world who believes in fighting for the truth and protecting whistleblowers to please contribute towards the defense of a man who did his duty, and also did right by freedom loving people in Australia and around the world.

Link to David McBride’s GoFundMe page.

Why does Angus Campbell still have a job?

Skirmish between Defence Chief Angus Campbell and Prime Minister Scott Morrison over military decorations will leave permanent scar

General Angus Campbell wearing glasses and uniform looking left of camera


When he entered the White House in 1945 Harry S. Truman put a small sign on his desk that read “The Buck Stops Here”. Whatever decisions were undertaken by those beneath him, Truman took the final resonsibilty for those decisions whether he had made them or not. At the end of the day somebody has to be held accountable when things go wrong, whether in business, politics, or the military, and that person is the person at the very top.

As I discussed in a previous article, this actually applies in international law under the “Yamashita” standard, wherein a military commander can be held responsible for the actions of his subordinates despite not being aware of them or issuing them any illegal orders. By failing to discover that war crimes were happening and, by not acting to stop them, Japanese general Tomoyuki Yamashita was found guilty of war crimes committed by troops under his command and hanged in 1946.

Soul of Darkness


The Brererton Inquiry released last month absolved senior military leadership of any responsibilty for the actions committed by some two dozen special operators in Afghanistan, choosing instead to strip the SAS of a unit citation and recommend a criminal investigation be launched against those few men.

NINE Aussie soldiers take their own lives as a war crimes scandal morphs into shambles, with top brass shielded & squaddies blamed


At the moment Chief of the Defense Forces, General Angus Campbell, is immune from the reach of Yamashita although technically the possibility does exist that someday he won’t be. However I think that the spirit of Yamashita should be applicable to every military and government, that the leaders are ultimately held responsible for the actions of their subordinates and have failed in their duty by not investigating the matter and taking steps to correct it. Instead Campbell and his masters in government go unpunished with their carers and pensions intact. Weanwhile David McBride remains wrongfully under charge and the government has done nothing to correct this travesty.

If these men had any honour at all they would have already resigned, committing political hara kiri. Instead they expect others to pay for their crimes proving once and for all that they are dishonourable cowards.

Információk az orvosa vagy az orvosi szakemberek számára biztosított meflokinról

Linkek a megfelelő tudományos cikkekhez.

A quinizmussal küzdők egyik legnagyobb akadálya, hogy az orvosi közösségben jelenleg nincsenek ismeretek erről. A kvinizmusban szenvedők többsége azt tapasztalta, hogy háziorvosuk és más egészségügyi szakemberek vagy nem ismerik a témát, vagy szkeptikusak ezzel kapcsolatban. Valami, amire gyakran felmerül a kérdés, hogy „milyen információkkal szolgálhatok / adhatok a háziorvosomnak a kinizmusról?”

Linkek értékes cikkekhez

Felsoroltam néhány olyan folyóiratcikket, amelyet a betegek adhatnak orvosuknak, és értékes információkat nyújtanak számukra. Vagy másolhatja és beillesztheti az alábbi linkeket, hogy megadja nekik, vagy letöltheti és kinyomtathatja egy nyomtatott példányt, amelyet megad nekik.

Bár ezek az akadémiai cikkek angol nyelven íródtak, orvosának képesnek kell lennie azok elolvasására vagy arra, hogy könnyen lefordítsa őket.

Ezeket a cikkeket Dr. Remington Nevin, a Quinism Alapítvány írta.

A tüneti meflokin expozíció szűrése krónikus pszichiátriai tünetekkel rendelkező veteránok körében


Remington folyóiratcikk. Nevin az MDEdge.com webhelyen, amely csak orvosi szakemberek számára elérhető.


Ez egy indiai folyóiratcikk, 2020. január 24-én. Ennek lényege, hogy a meflokin elpusztíthatja az agy egy adott részén található sejteket.

A meflokin humán acil-CoA-kötő fehérjéhez való kötődése a humán neuroblastoma sejtek redox stressz által közvetített apoptotikus halálához vezet.



Hasznos lehet egy link megadása a Quinism Foundation számára is.


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Feltétlenül ossza meg ezeket az információkat mindenkivel. Ha tudomást szereznék további információkról, amelyek segítséget nyújtanak Önnek, folyamatosan tájékoztatni fogom Önt.